Last Sunday, I competed in my first USAPL powerlifting meet. I have lifted on-and-off (let’s be real, mostly off) for the last seven years, and finally got consistent about training in the last year - this is with great credit and thanks to my coach Jessie Burdick, who also handled me at the meet.

When I first signed up for the meet in June, I had ambitious-ish goals: a 200lb squat (my tested max at the time was 165lbs), a 200lb deadlift, and a 100lb bench. A minor lower back injury in late June (the first time I’ve had any back issues) made me much more conservative with regards to my goals and I started to have a lot of anxiety around lifting weights above a certain poundage.

You can see my detailed results here, but I ended up with a 212.5kg total (sorry to switch from pounds to kilos here), and went “7 for 9” on my lifts (that is to say I failed 2 out of my 9 total attempts. More on that later). I squatted 82.5kg (~181lbs), benched 40kg (88lbs), and deadlifted 90kg (198lbs). My current tested maxes for squat, bench, and deadlift are 85kg, 45kg, and 90kg respectively.

If you’re unfamiliar with the format of a powerlifting meet, here’s a brief summary: You complete 3 exercises - squat, bench, and deadlift. For each exercise, you have three attempts. You inform the organizers of the weight you will be attempting before each exercise, and once it’s been provided, you cannot change it.

My handler chose my attempts, and calculated the weight I would be lifting for each exercise. Jessie is a seasoned professional and knew I would be dealing with a lot of day-of nerves as this was my first meet. She also knows I generally have a lot of anxiety around pushing myself and getting hurt! Because of this, she chose my attempts pretty carefully (especially squat - I did not even attempt to max out my squat), balancing weights she knew I could do no-sweat with pushing me a bit. My final bench attempt at 45kg was a result of me telling her that benching felt good and I wanted to go up more, and my final deadlift attempt was a bit of a YOLO.

Squat

I opened the meet, meaning that I was the first lifter. I had an absurd amount of adrenaline and nerves during my squats, and almost cried every time I had to step on the platform. Despite this, my squats felt amazing and every attempt felt very comfortable. I also spent a good amount of time in training drilling squat commands (“Squat” and “Rack”) and felt confident about following those. I am looking forward to pushing myself more in future meets!

Bench

Bench has been my favorite lift recently, despite my slow gains in strength. My first two bench attempts felt really good, and so I requested to Jessie that I try 45kg for my final attempt (a 5kg, rather 2.5kg, jump between attempts). I have done 45kg multiple times before and so I was confident I would get make it. I did succeed in lifting the weight, however I rushed my bench set up and the weight felt heavier than I expected it to, leading me to rush and skip the “Press” command. Because I skipped the command, I failed the lift and it did not count towards my total.

Deadlift

By the time deadlifts rolled around, I was already quite tired. I was simultaneously crashing from the adrenaline rush earlier while also feeling the nerves I experienced during squats kicking in again, though failing my final bench attempt really took a lot of pressure off my deadlifts (I figured, I already wasn’t going to go 9 for 9 so I could just do my best). My first two deadlift attempts went okay, and Jessie said she wasn’t going to tell me my 3rd attempt weight so I wouldn’t psych myself out. I did hear them announce it though, and immediately got so nervous - it was a weight I hadn’t even attempted before! Because of my nerves I took forever to set up, and ultimately was not able to get the weight past my knees. I am pretty pleased I got it off the ground though, because that’s usually my deadlift blocker!

Lessons Learned

Trust your coach

This wasn’t really a new lesson learned for me, as I already trust Jessie immensely, but it was definitely underscored at this meet. Jessie ran a tight ship, ensuring that all lifters she was handling were warmed up in time, refueling and resting when necessary, and standing on deck when they needed to be. Day of the meet I basically went “head empty” and just did everything she (or her crew) said. She thoughtfully chose my attempts and I wish I had believed in myself as much as she believed in me when it came to the 95kg deadlift!

Set up is everything

The two lifts I missed, I missed in part because I whiffed the set up. My squats felt great, and that is the lift I have spent the most time tweaking and drilling set up (in part because I had to do so to squat pain-free post injury!) My final bench attempt I rushed my set up, and I had the opposite problem for my final deadlift - I (pretty embarassingly) seemingly forgot how I like to deadlift, and burned time switching my stance repeatedly. This floundering added to my already fried nerves and did not prepare me for success! In my training I now plan to be much more intentional and conscientious about my set up for bench and deadlift, and am going to get a rote set up routine down. During a meet, you get a whole minute to set up for your lift after the bar’s been loaded, so there will be plenty of time to do your set up routine and ground yourself pre-lift.

Don’t cut

I initially registered for the 60kg weight class, because I was sitting just below that weight at the beginning of the summer. About a month out from the meet I was weighing in regularly at 61.5kg, and I planned to water cut down to 60kg. I told this to Jessie and she was like “literally why?”, so I didn’t (see the first lesson learned). Though I could have safely cut that amount, there was zero reason for me to do so for my meet - I wasn’t going to be breaking any records at a lower weight class, and it would just add more stress to my body! I drank as much water as I wanted leading up to the meet, and ate lots of pasta, bread pudding, and potatoes, and was very grateful to not be cutting carbs or drinking 4 gallons of water a day.

The weight will be heavy

When I was warming up deadlifts, I was tired. I like to start with many reps at a quite light weight, so was doing 5 reps at 52.5kg. After finishing those reps, I told Jessie I was worried about my deadlifts, and she asked if it was because those reps felt heavy. I said yes. She said, “Well, duh. It’s weight, it’s going to feel heavy. Just because it’s a warm-up doesn’t mean it’s going to be easy. The weight’s always going to be heavy, and it might be hard to lift it, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do it.” This is something that I regularly need to internalize, much like the message of one of my favorite strength training blog posts, “Strength Doesn’t Care”. Weight will always feel heavy, and I will keep trying to lift it!

It will be overstimulating

The meet was relatively small, but I still felt crowded. The music was loud, the lights were bright, and it was hot. The spotters stand close to you. You have to wear constricting clothing. Do what you can to self-regulate during the meet. Take your straps down on your singlet between attempts. Sip water. Sit near the door or another source of air flow. Wear earplugs. Whatever you need to do! I was also warned of the stimuli prior to the meet and so I had a couple trainings where I stood next to the speaker at the gym or had spotters stand close to me.

Friends are there as support, not as an audience

A bunch of friends came to watch me at the meet, and family members watched over livestream. This was really, really nice of them and I felt their love immensely, and I’m really grateful that they showed up for me. I liked going out to see them between flights, and it meant a lot to me that they came. But when I was on the platform, I had to direct all focus to the weights. I could hear their cheers but I was not there to put on a performance for them - I just had to move the weight.

Practice commands

Jessie was really good about coaching us with commands, and we spent the final two to three weeks of training to lift with commands. Bench has the most commands out of the three lifts (“Start”, “Press”, and “Rack”) and I wish I had drilled it a couple more times, especially at high weights/when tired - it’s really easy to miss the commands when you’re nervous, tired, and holding something heavy!

Check your gear

Competitions have a bunch of rules about what sort of gear is okay/not-okay for use. My knee sleeves were pretty simple, not super “springy” sleeves, so I figured they would be okay. They weren’t, because they weren’t 100% neoprene. A fellow lifter from my gym saved my rear with an extra pair of sleeves she had in her car, and I was so grateful! I also highly recommend wearing a fairly tight t-shirt underneath your singlet - my t-shirt was just a liiiiitle too loose and so it was always bunching up in uncomfortable ways.

Final thoughts

I’ve joked a couple times that although I didn’t hit any powerlifting PRs at the meet, I hit a “self-hatred” (or really, self-compassion) PR. I didn’t go 9 for 9. I flubbed my deadlift set up. I did not bring glory to my family and my gym. But still feel good about my performance and am not beating myself up over anything. I had a lot of fun, I recognize how I can do better next time, and I’m eager to put the work in to do so.